Reruns of the past keep playing out before my very eyes
I'm watching shadows of our younger selves have snowball fights in the driveway
I'm watching the four of us sort Halloween candy on the dining room table
I'm watching Mom decorate for the holidays and sing along to all her favorite songs
My throat feels like I swallowed a bag of razor blades
And for the past two months, my soul has felt the same way
I'm standing on the cliff of a canyon that I keep filling up
With junk food wrappers and with receipts I never file
And I can't stop picturing that one day I will have thrown away enough
To simply walk across, then start to journey forward and away from the other side
Last night I lost my voice
Laughing with my friends
At all the jokes we crack
I never want it back
Cuz all I ever use it for now
Is to find ways to rephrase
How despondent I've been feeling
And I'm helpless to change it
And if I could stop shoveling my sorrow into these two-bit songs
Well then, maybe one day I'll find something worthwhile to say again
