Black Friday

It's hard to wake up when the shades have been pulled shut

This house is haunted, it's so pathetic, it makes no sense at all

I'm ripe with things to say; the words rhyme then fall away

If a stupid poem could fix this home, I'd read it every day

 

"Stay Together For The Kids" - blink-182

I originally thought that "Black Friday" would be a fitting title in reference to today in this household. But inevitably, the darkness always comes to pass. Even when wallowing in it feels good, when forgetting what happiness feels like and convincing yourself that staying this way seems like the logical choice, you realize it's not a choice. It's a fact. The darkness always comes to pass.

Set Your Goals has a song called "Happy New Year". It's a tongue-in-cheek kind of title, with the subject matter and overall feel of the song actually very dismal. I was about to type "hopeless", but then I remembered the bridge lyrics and the interview I read. One of the band's two frontmen, Matt Wilson, wrote the song after his mother died. He said he actually intended for the song to be one of hope and anticipation of new beginnings but that it still came out the darkest song on the album. My point being, I don't like staying angry at people, and I have little devices for each of those close to me that I use to stop or lessen my being mad at them. In terms of my mother, I sing "Happy New Year". It reminds me of how sad I'd be if she were gone. Technically, of how sad I'll be when she's gone. Yeah, when I start thinking morbidally like that, it normally does the trick and I'm not mad at her anymore. Normally, it also helps me to start to see things from her point of view, I start to realize how I am in the wrong, and I sober up.

We, as a family, sat around the TV tonight and watched the iCarly series finale together. I'm so sad it's over. Towards the end, I didn't even really like the show that much, but I'm so sad to see it end. I just hate when things come to an end. I think I've gone into some sort of night-long depression for every single series finale I've ever seen: Scrubs (not counting the 9th season, which shouldn't count anyway), Monk, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. At one point Nicktoons started airing reruns of Danny Phantom, and of course we recorded them. We watched an episode called "Phantom Planet" and towards the end of it I went, "That was the series finale, wasn't it?" And it made me all nostalgic for the series so I spent the whole three-day weekend watching all the episodes online, and I spent the whole time in a funk and honestly I spent the rest of the week in a funk. I was just so distraught that it was over and it was kind of disheartening because it was 5 years after the show had originally ended. So, yeah, I'm still a little heartbroken that iCarly is over, but I spent the time typing this paragraph watching The Avengers so I'm a bit better.

Today was a bittersweet day, so I think I'm sticking with the title. But in the end it wasn't as bad as I felt it and I was going to be this evening. Maybe the future will see the abolishment (abolition?) of Black Friday as a holiday, but I sincerely doubt it. I hope everyone else's day went better than mine. And if you are mourning the loss of iCarly, please know I am whole-heartedly commiserating.

Song for thought:
"Man Overboard" - blink-182